Funny! Peter Obi Accused of Causing the Rainy Season to Sabotage Abuja Road Construction

Written by Favour Nneji Amako

The grocery store was buzzing with activity when I ran into Tunde, an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while. We exchanged pleasantries and jokes about the impending apocalypse, given the way things were going in the country. Tunde was stocking up on groceries, and I couldn’t help but ask if he was preparing for something big.

“Long time no see, Tunde! Are you stocking up for the apocalypse?” I teased.

Tunde laughed. “You could say that. With everything happening, who knows what will happen next? Have you heard about the nationwide protest against hunger scheduled for August 1st?”

“Oh, you mean the one the FCT Commissioner of Police, Bennett Igweh, is warning us in Abuja to avoid? Apparently, Minister Wike’s magical road construction is supposed to solve all our problems,” I replied.

“Yeah,” Tunde chuckled. “Because nothing screams ‘development’ like a new road. Who needs food when you can drive on smooth asphalt?”

“Exactly!” I said, shaking my head. “I’m sure the road will taste delicious. But seriously, can you believe Wike and the police commissioner? It’s like they’re living in a different reality.”

Tunde’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Maybe they think the new roads will lead us straight to prosperity. Or perhaps it’s just a clever distraction. Look over here, a shiny new road, while people starve over there.”

“And let’s not forget the twist,” I said, lowering my voice conspiratorially. “The presidency accusing Peter Obi of orchestrating the protest. As if he’s some kind of hunger mastermind.”

Tunde laughed out loud. “Yeah, because Peter Obi has nothing better to do than plot nationwide protests. What’s next? Will they blame him for the weather too?”

“Probably,” I said, feigning seriousness. “Breaking News: Peter Obi accused of causing the rainy season to sabotage road construction!”

“Exactly!” Tunde grinned. “And then Obi and the Labour Party deny it, of course. ‘We didn’t make it rain. We promise.'”

“It’s like a bad soap opera,” I said, shaking my head. “The accusations, the denials, the heroic road construction. What’s the next episode? Wike single-handedly ending world hunger with a ribbon-cutting ceremony?”

“Or Bennett Igweh announcing a new law: ‘No protesting while driving on newly constructed roads,'” Tunde added, his eyes dancing with mirth.

“And anyone caught protesting gets a free asphalt sandwich. Bon appétit!” I said, laughing.

“It’s all so absurd,” Tunde sighed. “But seriously, people are hungry. Road construction is great, but it won’t fill empty stomachs.”

“True,” I agreed. “It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a broken leg. The real issues are being ignored while they play their political games.”

“Well,” Tunde said with a resigned smile, “let’s just hope common sense prevails, though it seems like a long shot.”

“In the meantime,” I said, “I’ll just stock up on groceries and avoid the chaos. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll drive on those roads and laugh about how we survived the great hunger protest of 2024.”

“Here’s hoping,” Tunde replied, giving me a pat on the back. “Take care, my friend. And remember, when in doubt, blame Peter Obi.”

“Always,” I said, smiling. “Take care, Tunde.”

@ Favour Nneji Amako, a Youth Pastor, Journalist and Communication Consultant/ Scholar