N688k Non-Refundable Fee? Heaven My Goal, Not Dubai, By Sir Favour Nneji Amako

I was shocked when I heard about the UAE’s new visa requirement for Nigerians. A whopping N688,000 non-refundable fee? And a minimum account balance of $10,000? They must think we’re all swimming in oil money…or desperate to escape the motherland!

I discussed this with my friend, Tunde:

“Sir Favour, have you heard the news?” Tunde asked, his eyes wide with disbelief.

“What news?” I replied, already sensing something was off.

“The UAE visa requirement! N688,000 and a $10,000 account balance? It’s like they don’t want us to come at all! Unless…unless you’re a billionaire, or a magician who can conjure up cash out of thin air!”

I chuckled. “Yeah, because Dubai is the ultimate goal for every Nigerian – who needs heaven when you can have Dubai? I mean, who needs eternal bliss when you can have a 5-star hotel and a selfie with a Burj Khalifa backdrop? It’s like they say: ‘You have to break the bank to make it to Dubai’…literally! And if you’re lucky, they might even ask for your firstborn child as collateral!”

Tunde laughed. “You’re preaching to the choir, my friend. Nigeria is our own Dubai – we just need to see it. And if we can’t afford the visa fee, well…there’s always heaven. After all, heaven is my goal, not Dubai! Because, let’s be real, have you seen the exchange rate? It’s like they’re charging us per grain of sand!”

I concluded, “Heaven is my goal, not Dubai. And if UAE wants to keep their Dubai, that’s fine by me. I’ll stick to my Nigeria, thank you very much!”